The Medallion
by Tom Bombadilo
Summary: A round robin written in 2004 detailing the interesting fate of the accursed Aztec medallion. Updated and critiqued... by me.
1. Default Chapter

**The Medallion**

_James and Saraman; 2004_

_A/N: Whatever isn't in parenthesis was in the original covered round robin from 2004. The stuff in parenthesis is my recent comments. Enjoy! _

"Arghhhhh…you don't know what this is, do ya?" growled Captain Barbossa, holding the medallion out in front of him (as opposed to holding it behind his back?). He picked up the medallion and put it in his pocket (clumsy, isn't he?). But his pocket got a hole in it and the medallion fell out onto the ground (and not too practical either).

Then, Will came over and picked it up. "What's this?" he said, trying to bend the medallion with his teeth (he saw that on _Dumbo_ and wanted to try it). "Ah, Aztec gold." He went to buy rum at the tavern with it, but accidentally dropped it (him, too?).

Jack picked it up and held it in his hands. "My precious, my precious!" he cooed (taking cues from Sméagol now, eh?).

Elizabeth sauntered casually up to him and tackled him, trying to get it. But she did not get it because Pintel clubbed her first (why that naughty, violent man). "Thank-you!" said Pintel, grabbing the medallion and walking away (well, at least he's polite).

Mr. Cotton saw the medallion and wanted it for himself (that seems to be common in this story). So he sneaked up behind Pintel, threw a pillowcase over his head, and grabbed the medallion out of Pintel's hands. Then, he ran away (Wow, I didn't think he had that in him. His parrot maybe, but not Mr. Cotton).

"Ah-har-ha!" shrieked Barbossa, just then noticing that his medallion was mislaid. "Jack, bring me that medallion!" He ran after the passersby, faster than fifty eerie beetles after a mushroom (that fast?).

Anna-Maria stole the medallion out of Commodore Norrington's quarters, for the Commodore had captured Mr. Cotton and taken it, and run away to Jack's ship. When Jack saw Anna-Maria standing around, he swiped the medallion and threw her overboard.

"Yehhrr!" said Anna-Maria. "Give that back!"

"No!" snarled Jack. "It's mine, my own, my precious!" (Yeah, sue him.)

"No, it's not," said Mr. Gibbs. "It's mine!" He hobbled toward him like a crazy maniac (aren't most maniacs crazy? Or only some?).

Then, Will grabbed the medallion and gave it to Bootstrap Bill, who was under the sea. "Ahh!" said Will. "My medallion is gone!" He dove into the sea, swimming after it (he doesn't really think that far ahead, does he?). "Come back!" he called. But Bill did not come back (you blame him? I mean, if _my _son came up to me and gave a present and then started freaking out and wanting it back, I'd be making myself scarce, too).

At length, Barbossa threw a line in the water and said, "Hullo, I caught a fish!" Really, it was the medallion (no… impossible! Really?).

**Finis**


	2. The Medallion: Revisited

**The Medallion—Revisited**

_James and Saraman; 2004 _

Barbossa got a fishing pole and threw the line in the water. "Argh!" he growled. "I caught a fish!" However, it was really the medallion. He grabbed it and threw it on the frying pan. The medallion melted (whew, some cooker he's got there, eh?), and then, Sauron took the molten gold and forged it into a ring— the One Ring—and endowed it with evil and insidious qualities so that all who beheld it might lust after it and so bring about their own destruction or enslave themselves beneath his feet for eternity.

Will then grabbed the Ring from Elizabeth and ran away (and this implies _what_ about Elizabeth?).

"Come back here, you turtle-wax wearing, snorkel-brained, spawn of a hippopotamus!" yelled Elizabeth. She chased Will clear to Tortuga.

Will grew tired of holding the Ring, so he put it in his mouth. His mouth was scorching hot and the Ring began to melt (again? Well, at least it apparently melts back into the medallion). "NOOO!" he shrieked. "My Ring is melting!" He grabbed the medallion out of the fire (erm?) and threw it in the stinky old fish tank. Then, the stinky old fish in the stinky old fish tank ate the medallion. Straightaway, someone came up behind him and gave him the Heimlich maneuver. The medallion shot out and hit Barbossa in the head, instantly killing him.

"AUGHHHH!" screamed Barbossa. "I'm melting!" Barbossa melted away (how he managed to die instantly and then produce some last words remains a mystery).

Then, Anna-Maria came over and grabbed the medallion. Then, Mr. Gibbs stole it away from her. However, Will stole it from him and threw it overboard. "I think I'll share it with my old dad. Maybe he can use it to scrape that starfish off his head… wait, I'm not supposed to know about that yet. I'm supposed to think he's still under the ocean, strapped to a cannon. Sorry for the canon mistake about the cannon."

Will dove into the sea and swam towards his dad. When he reached him, he gave him the medallion and swam back up. Bootstrap Bill, however, thought it was a gaudy trinket (probably because he had a starfish over his eyes), so he tossed it up onto a desert island somewhere.

Jack got marooned on the island by Barbossa and found the medallion lying in the sand. He promptly pocketed it. Then he walked under the water till he got to the Isla de Muerta. When he got up on the shore, the moon conveniently came out; he transformed into a skeleton and frightened Anna-Maria away (a nod to "Little Miss Muffet?").

**Finis**


End file.
